Monday, September 14, 2009

Uppers and Downers

I've felt happiness like this:

& sadness like this:in a matter of 24 hours.

I think God makes that possible so we remember that our hearts still work just fine even after all that we've been through.

My best friend's grandmother passed away on Thursday evening. It's like I forgot to be sad when it happened. I just wanted my friend to be okay, to be taken care of, to be loved... I forgot to be sad. After making sure she didn't want or need me to come be with her(she was surrounded by family),I headed to WG's on Friday as planned for date night. It was a lovely day and night full of lovin'. Saturday brought on a day so full of fun with friends and WG that our heads didn't hit the pillow until around 2:30am. We talked until 3ish and then drifted off. I dreamt a few dreams... all random. The last dream I remember and woke myself up to was about her Maw Maw. I rolled over and started talking to WG... trying to push it out of my brain. As I was getting ready, WG walked into the bathroom and wrapped his arms around me. As we looked at each other through the mirror, he asked if everything was okay. I'm apparently horrible at hiding my feelings. Everything was dandy as far as he goes, but my heart began hurting sometime during the night... somewhere in my dreams. I told him I was dreading the funeral tomorrow. It's not the funeral I'm dreading... it's the thoughts and feelings that I'm dreading. The sadness slowly crept up further and further throughout the day, until the moment my weekend tired body hit the bath tonight. The. Tears. Streamed. Down. Her Maw Maw won't be there the day she gets married. She won't be there the day she has a child. She won't be there on Christmas or Thanksgiving or Birthdays. She won't be there anymore.
She was a tiny woman with a big heart. She raised a beautiful family who have always taken me in and treated me like their own.
Tonight and tomorrow{and always}, my heart hurts for their loss.

Oh, the highs and lows of life.
Happy my heart is still working at least.

9 love notes:

  1. Wow what a story to share. I hope your friend is okay.

  2. Lacey, I'm sorry for you and your friend and her family. Losing someone SUCKS, and that's really all there is to it.

    Thinking about you both.

  3. I just found your blog and wanted to wish you some sunshine. I'm sorry things are rough right now. There's not much worse than a broken heart.

  4. I am so sorry for you, your friend, and her family. She is lucky to have a friend like you to comfort her. I will be thinking of you!

  5. Sorry for the sadness and the loss that all of you are experiencing right now. My heart goes out to you.

  6. oh hun...i am sorry i was mia from the blog world yesterday and missed this...i am so so sorry for your friend's loss which is yours as heart is with you!!

  7. i am so sorry for the loss... i will be thinking and praying for you and your friend as you grieve this difficult loss.



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