Wednesday, September 18, 2013

The road less traveled

So this is my life And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad. I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.
For a little over a year I have been working in an office setting.  I work with my step sister and with two other women who have become friends to me.  I was brought in just to answer phones and take appointments... this was to be my "easy job" & then I would come home and sew(which is where my heart is).  "Extra money" is what Mr. & I were thinking when I agreed to take this job on.   We both kind of had it in our heads that I would do it for 1 year.  Well, let me tell you something.  Working 40 hours a week outside of the home and then coming home and sewing?  It wasn't easy.  Slowly but surely I stopped taking orders.  The wedding slowed things down for sure, and then moving slowed things down, and now here I am... and I'm just too tired to do it all.  The 1 year came and went and now I'm in month 3 of the second year.  I need to say something that I have only said to my husband... and I probably need to say it OUT LOUD to people who care about me, but I'll start here.
 I am unhappy.  My brain feels wasted.  I've gained unwanted weight from sitting at a desk all day. I'm always tired.  Leaving my house in the morning is getting harder and harder.  I wear a smiling mask to make everyone else comfortable, but inside I am a sad girl.
Saying that makes me feel wildly uncomfortable and ungrateful.  I'm lucky to have a job and a wonderful, supportive husband.  I'm lucky to have friends and family who would sit and listen to me if I were brave enough to speak  up and ask for opinions or help.  I'm really a lucky woman.
So why not go back to what I was doing before?  It's simple.  I'm scared.  Business changes with the seasons... it's not a steady paycheck like I have now.(Though, let me go on record and say my paycheck is sad and I am miserably under-payed for all of the responsibility I have taken on.)
 I could try harder. I could put myself out there more.  I could do it.  (I can do it... right?)
I am sick of curling up in a ball when my work day is done.  I'm sick of putting off responsibilities because I am depressed and all I want to do is sleep when I get home.  I am not this girl.
I don't want to be this girl anymore.

Kid President to the rescue.
"This is life people.  You got air coming through your nose.  You gotta heart beat.  IT'S TIME TO DO SOMETHING."

Monday, August 12, 2013

Give them the Goods- the wedding video

I figure since I am back, I should give you people what you want! 
We'll start from the beginning for those of you who need to catch up and we'll end right smack dab in the present!

And then it was time to get married!  As the wedding week began the chance of rain was 40% for our wedding day... closer to the end of the week and the big day, the chance had gone up to 100%.  That's right... 100%.  Now, I live in South Louisiana and when they say 100% chance of rain, they mean it.    It poured cats and dogs the night before during out rehearsal at the church, but then the skies cleared up just in time for our rehearsal dinner.  God even sent a Wedding gift...
"A double rainbow!  What does it all mean?"
I woke on our wedding day with the 100% chance looming, but something happened that fateful day in early May.  Maybe everyone did just enough praying to keep the rain away, or maybe it just didn't rain in the 3 cities we hit throughout the day... but miraculously, we encountered zero rain on our wedding day.  It was hot as all get out, but rain, it did not. That is what I like to call a good old fashioned miracle, folks!  Amen!
Mr's Groom's cake fell apart en route to the venue, my shoes went missing for a hot minute, my Mom missed our first look because she was busy setting up, Mr's Mom had to have an emergency dental procedure that morning, my curls weren't cooperating because of the humidity, Mr's nephew was dehydrated and exhausted and slept through the entire reception, the single peonies on the tables were a little limp because the florist neglected to attach viles of water... but such is life.
All of the sudden, as if in a dream, we were married.  It was not without it's snafus and close calls, but it was perfect in the end, because in the end I was his wife and he was my husband, and we are quite sure that is always what we were meant to be.

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Hello Out There

Steps through door.
Looks around.
This place resembles a place that used to make me very happy.
A place where I could let my feelings escape through my fingertips.
Maybe this place could still be that for me.
Just maybe.
Things have changed.
I have a new last name.
A new (old) home.
Different priorities.
My heart is just about the same... maybe a little bigger.
I'll be back.
I'll always be back.

Saturday, December 22, 2012

What's a Christmas-Gram? I want one!

Just a few of my Christmasy instagrams as of late!

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Christmas Jams

 There are only a few days left to rock around the Christmas tree!  Here are a few of my favorite holiday tunes to keep you in the spirit these next few days!

Glee Cast- Last Christmas

Jason Mraz- Winter Wonderland

Christina Perri- Merry Christmas, Darling

She & Him- Blue Christmas

Justin Bieber- Under the Mistletoe

Colbie Caillat featuring Brad Paisley- Merry Christmas, Baby

Mindy Glenhill- Winter Moon

Zooey Deschanel & Josheph Gordon Levitz - What Are You Doing New Years Eve?

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