Monday, October 26, 2009

Mommy Dating

Hey all you Lacey in Love readers! I'm Molly from Stilettos and Diapers. I am a wife, mommy to an adorable 18 month old little man, and a wanna be fashionista.
I can't even tell you how excited I was when Lacey asked me to guest post. Pretty sure my husband thought I was having some kind of spastic attack. See, I LOVE Lacey. Like, in a totally heterosexual way. But really, love her. We are both grits, (girls raised in the south) and that gave me an instant bond with her.

I decided since Lacey is the unmarried, childless housewife, I would share with you something that she doesn't get to experience yet.

Mommy Dating
Once you find that someone, or get married, you think gone are the days of dating. Phew.
No more awkward silence.
No more dressing to impress while worrying about every freakin detail of your clothing choice. No more friends trying to set you up with their boyfriend's loser friends.
No more heartbreak if you get rejected.
No more calling your friends halfway through the date to save you from some douche.
No more wondering if this is "the one".

You go on lots of double and group dates with your friends and you spend lots of time at home just the two of you. Awwww...sweet love.

Then, you have a baby. Suddenly, you don't have quite as much in common with your friends as before. The girls want to party, and you just want to catch up on sleep. Plus, you can't drink until the baby unattaches itself from your boob. Then you realize, it's time for some mommy friends.
And the dating begins.
Play dates are not about the kids at all. It is about sizing up the mom. You go hoping that you meet your female soul mate. You want the sparks to fly, and you have the nervous "what am I doing" jitters right before she gets there. You still have to think about your clothes. You want to be cute, but not slutty, and still be able to change a diaper. Your mind goes a mile a minute.

Does she have good style and is she the same size as me so I can borrow all her clothes?
Is she going to judge me for downing a bottle glass of wine after normal hard day?
Crap, what if she's gorgeous? I can't let that gorgeous girl hang out around my husband all the time.
What did she dress her kid in?
She drives that? I can't be her friend, she's a rich, stuck up biatch!

Not only do you have the planned "blind date", but you have the spontaneous meeting. You see her from across the park. You just know that you could be friends. You could totally see her sipping wine and watching the Real Housewives with you. It would be perfect, but you just don't have the nerve to go talk to her. It's like 8th grade all over again when you REALLY wanted to ask Joey to the dance, but couldn't muster up enough strength to do it.
Oh, the things you unmarried, childless housewives have to look forward to. You think you're in the clear? Think again. Dating women is way harder than you might think.

Photo credit here

18 love notes:

  1. haha love it. im not a mom, but i totally know how they change, (i have 5 sisters) as well as my friends having kids, and its different between us. Great post!

  2. This does sound pretty scary. Impressing a woman is way harder, although I imagine it can be more fun since no "expectation" by the end of the date lol

  3. Great post Molly. I can totally relate. I am in this exact postition all my former friends are still single and love to party so I am looking for my "female soul mate".

  4. woman is THEE hardest ever!!! so so glad to know there are more mommies out there going through the same trials!!

  5. Dating can be hard and so can play dates. That is my next step. Thanks for the tips.

  6. haha. I don't think I'm looking forward to this part of being a mommy. Maybe at least one of my close friends will have a baby around the same time as me. I can hope. :)

  7. you know I hadn't thought of this before but it makes perfect sense. Definitely sounds stressful b/c women can be way more judgmental then men. Love the post.

  8. haha i loved this post! so true!

  9. Haha! LOVE it Molly! Dating mommies is way harder then finding your soul mate:) So glad other mommies think the same things I do!!

  10. Oh, Molly. I heart you. Dating women is so hard. I try not to.

  11. Ha ha!!! Molly, I love you girl.

    It's so true...girls are soooo much harder to date than guys.

    But you and Lacey, we would be perfection together. Shall we plan our date? =)

  12. Hahaha love the post Molly. Good stuff for sure and SO TRUE!

  13. I love it! Great post, Molly! I think girls only dress up for other girls with or with out kids. Guys don't care what we wear, only other girls do. True at any point in life, I guess!

  14. As a dude, I'm not sure how much I could contribute to the comments for this post, but... I'd have to agree with you and also...

    Who in the hell would reject ya'll adorable ladies?

    Nice post Molly!

  15. So funny Molly!!! Love it! I'm honestly not really looking forward to the whole play-date experience....I'm sure I'm going to be giving myself a pat on the back just for making it out of my pajamas everyday. Oh, I've got a lot to learn before jumping in to mommyland :)

  16. Luv this post, it's so hilarious and definitely true!!!

    I don't have kids yet, but that's definitely something to look forward too lol


You've always been my favorite... don't tell the others!