They Always Come Back
WG called a month after we ended things.
It was weird.
After talking to him for 2 nights in a row,
(These being drunken nights for him. Did I mention that was a huge problem for me?)
I knew for sure that letting go when I did was the right decision.
He had worked himself into a really icky situation & hadn't bothered to open up to me about it.
I think he was under the impression that that was the only problem with us.
There were other things that weren't going to work for us either, in my eyes.
I felt like our personalities were a little too different.
Our likes and dislikes. Our styles. The ways in which we show love.
He was very conservative. I fly by the seat of my pants.
He wore slacks and oxfords everyday. Me? You never know what you're going to get.
He liked to be right all the time. I liked to laugh because that's just ridiculous.
He could cook up a lovely meal to show he cared, (BUT he could also drunkenly call me and threaten to break up with me for no reason at all.) Affection was scarce that last month and a half. I don't take well to threats.
Me? Notes are left, texts are sent, cookies are baked, clothes are ironed, houses are cleaned, hugs are given & if I haven't kissed you at least 10 times that day, well... then the day must not be over.
He was never very kissy. Where's the fun in that?
See? Different.
Don't get me wrong, the beginning was lovely...
but most beginnings are.
I realize that for me, WG was a stepping stone.
He helped me to move on from the ex.
I will always be grateful for the time that we shared,
because a lot of it was fun...
and because of that time spent, I realize more than ever what I want.
It's all about growing and learning.
The 3rd night that WG called, we talked for a while.
He finally filled me in on everything he had been holding back.
It was nice to hear, but it didn't change anything.
He said he wasn't ready to let me go...
but my grasp on him had been weak for a while, and it was time for him to release the idea of us into the air.
I told him I was sorry, but that "us" was not an option anymore.
My heart was not broken,
but he'd changed my life, for sure.
Maybe it wasn't love with WG, but the excitement of something new for the first time in 6 years.
I was in love with the possibilities.
Sometimes the truth sucks to hear, but at the end of the day,
the truth is all we've ever wanted.
& That's how I "broke up" with an ex... again... again.
WG called a month after we ended things.
It was weird.
After talking to him for 2 nights in a row,
(These being drunken nights for him. Did I mention that was a huge problem for me?)
I knew for sure that letting go when I did was the right decision.
He had worked himself into a really icky situation & hadn't bothered to open up to me about it.
I think he was under the impression that that was the only problem with us.
There were other things that weren't going to work for us either, in my eyes.
I felt like our personalities were a little too different.
Our likes and dislikes. Our styles. The ways in which we show love.
He was very conservative. I fly by the seat of my pants.
He wore slacks and oxfords everyday. Me? You never know what you're going to get.
He liked to be right all the time. I liked to laugh because that's just ridiculous.
He could cook up a lovely meal to show he cared, (BUT he could also drunkenly call me and threaten to break up with me for no reason at all.) Affection was scarce that last month and a half. I don't take well to threats.
Me? Notes are left, texts are sent, cookies are baked, clothes are ironed, houses are cleaned, hugs are given & if I haven't kissed you at least 10 times that day, well... then the day must not be over.
He was never very kissy. Where's the fun in that?
See? Different.
Don't get me wrong, the beginning was lovely...
but most beginnings are.
I realize that for me, WG was a stepping stone.
He helped me to move on from the ex.
I will always be grateful for the time that we shared,
because a lot of it was fun...
and because of that time spent, I realize more than ever what I want.
It's all about growing and learning.
The 3rd night that WG called, we talked for a while.
He finally filled me in on everything he had been holding back.
It was nice to hear, but it didn't change anything.
He said he wasn't ready to let me go...
but my grasp on him had been weak for a while, and it was time for him to release the idea of us into the air.
I told him I was sorry, but that "us" was not an option anymore.
My heart was not broken,
but he'd changed my life, for sure.
Maybe it wasn't love with WG, but the excitement of something new for the first time in 6 years.
I was in love with the possibilities.
Sometimes the truth sucks to hear, but at the end of the day,
the truth is all we've ever wanted.
& That's how I "broke up" with an ex... again... again.
"Sometimes the truth sucks to hear...but that's all we've always wanted". SO true.
ReplyDeletesounds like you did the VERY right thing to me. If someone doenst give you the butterflies in your stomach, and make you giddy everytime you think of them then they are not worth dating because you are not going to marry them. Therefore these relationships always in heartbreak.
ReplyDeleteI hope you find someone that make your heart go thumpity-thump, skipping a beat, and the butterflies.
-makay
thats a lot in a short period of time to deal with. You dealt with it well, and you are very strong. I am impressed, but I hope you are ok.
ReplyDeleteLove this. We alll have this guy who changes things and make us realize and grow up a little more... You're stong love! and Im so happy for you to realize that, someone perfect is wating for you.
ReplyDeleteStaying true to yourself is #1.
ReplyDeleteNever forget that.
L♥ve doesn't have a specific time and/or place... it'll come.
Heart you little lady!
I am so proud of you Lacey. You are making decisions and changing things and taking care of yourself in ways you cant even imagine. You'll find that earth-shattering love when it's right, and realize all of them were stepping stones.
ReplyDeleteahhhh, my laceyloowho. I just adore you and your incredibly sweet heart. You have such amazing wisdom at such a young age.... =)
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to hear all about pink pants. Or was it lavender? lol
it's so important to know what you want, know what's best, and stick to it. i know it couldn't have been easy, but way to go, lace.
ReplyDeleteHey Lacey! I know this post was written a while ago, but I just found your blog and was looking back at some of the older stuff you wrote. This post, right here, helped me more than you'll know. I haven't broken up with anyone recently, but I too "fall in love with the possibilities." I try to justify why the wrong one might be right, just because of the hope that maybe it'll someday turn into what I want. But it never will. You can't change people, so you just have to let them go and search for whatever it is you're looking for. So thank you for this... I needed it!
ReplyDelete