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This I Pray
I've struggled with severe anxiety since I was a toddler. I had panic attacks before panic attacks were cool. I could write the book. I probably should. I'm seeing signs of anxiety in my sweet niece Squishy already at the ripe old age of 4 months. I spent the afternoon with my Squish and when she left I spent 30 minutes praying for her & crying. I don't want her to go through the confusions, through the questioning God, through the tears. I don't want her to know fear like that. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it go away. I've feared as long as I can remember that my own children would pick up this horrible trait of mine(I still do, cause uhm- i don't have kids, amen.)... I forgot to think about my nieces and nephews. It never crossed my mind. It crosses my mind everyday now. Every single day.
If my feelings are right & this is something she will have to learn to live with, then I think of the anxiety I battle as a blessing in disguise. At least I can relate.
We are so in sync today....
ReplyDeleteThis is really sweet, I hope your prayers are answered. I know how it is to want our loved ones to not experience the bad things we had.
ReplyDeleteYou're amazing, Lace!
Anxiety sucks... I used to get horrible attacks of it.
ReplyDeleteI hope it goes away...for you and for your niece.
You're right, sometimes God allows things in our lives so that we will understand when someone else goes through the same thing. A woman at work gets anxiety attacks, and I've seen her counsel others with the problem and give them good advice and hope where I wouldn't know what to say. Keep praying.
ReplyDeleteI have anxiety and panic attacks too. I am trying soooo hard to give my daughter tools in life to deal with this issue. Its hard!
ReplyDeleteHey there friend! Just wanted to thank you for the lovely bib you sent Aaron in the mail. :) It is just adorable and I appreciate so much that you thought of him. :) Thanks a bunch! Crystal
ReplyDeleteVisiting from Mama Kats...
ReplyDeleteThis really touched me. I hope Squishy is able to find a path through this... but at least she has someone who loves her to help guide her through if she needs it.
Coming from a mom with a two year old who has EXTREME anxiety issues, I will be in prayer for both of you! It's definatley not an easy road.
ReplyDeleteI just read this and it brought tears to my eyes. I too haved suffered because of panic attacks-since i was a child. They were horrible! It seems like I missed out on things in life because of them. I am 43 yrs old now but your right, they didn't really talk about them like they do now. I always thought something was really wrong with me. I got help about 10 yrs ago. I am better but... Yeah still get panic attacks but not as often. I have learned to deal with it better. My boyfriend understands cause he has them too. My ex-husband never understood or even tried to understand. I am glad there are websites to get information.And I wish people who don't have them would be a little more understanding.If your niece has them,I am sure you will help her and you are right it is a blessing in disguise! thanks jacquecurl@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteBless your heart, Lacey. You and Squishy will be in my prayers. :)
ReplyDeleteThat was so beautiful and I wish and pray the same for you.
ReplyDeletePraying that squishy doesn't befall your same fate.....
ReplyDeleteI'm not totally familiar with that kind of anxiety, but I think I had my first panic attack after Kainoa was born. I couldn't catch my breath and I thought I was having a relapse of what happened after Laina was born. I couldn't breathe. The nurse finally calmed me down and assured me that I was perfectly fine...that I had basically just freaked myself out.
ReplyDeleteI had another episode like that when I was sick this past week. I couldn't catch my breath and I started thinking about how I would have to call 911 and what if I collapsed in front of my kids because I can't breathe...I calmed myself down and I'm pretty sure I had just freaked myself out again.
If that's what panic attacks are like I never want to experience one again...and I can NOT imagine what it would be like to have those at such a young, sweet age. What in the world were you panicking about?? What could a four month old be getting anxious about?? How seriously sad is that!! Is her Mom concerned at all?? I'll pray for her too! And you!!! Poor babies. :(
Squishy is so adorable! I hope this will not become a part of her life!
ReplyDeleteYou may have struggled with this to help her through it. You are such a sweet aunt to pray so passionately for her. God hears you, sweetie. He'll hold both your hand and precious Squishy's hand. I'll pray too. I'll pray for you and Squishy to feel peace.
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